Breathtaking

This started off as a facebook post, but it kept getting longer and longer. So I decided to resurrect the blog. Its only been almost a year...and instead of going to bed as I've been wanting to since I woke up, I decided to spend an hour after my kids have gone to bed writing.

A friend shared a link on Facebook:

http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/164477/dad_takes_breathtaking_video_of

When I clicked this link and started watching, I was thinking in my head, "Breathtaking? What is breathtaking about a baby born premature? Breathtaking is something beautiful, premature births are sad." And yes while premature births are sad, it is beautiful to see the joy on the mother's face, beautiful to see how this teeny baby gets stronger.

And somehow, that made me think about how breathtaking my life is.

I have an amazing husband. I have a worthy priesthood holder in my life (several actually) who does everything he can to take care of our beautiful family. He is the most loving, caring, wonderful father I could ever ask for. And I don't say that enough. Through this deployment I've realized what it really means to have a better half, and I'm so crazy excited to be whole again. I'm so overcome with emotion to see our family reunited, and I'm so anxious to see the love that know exists between Michael and Emily, even though they've not met yet. AND I'm so excited to see how happy Amelia will be when she sees her daddy again, especially now that she can talk!

Speaking of my daughters, I have two, absolutely beautiful, strong, and spiritual daughters. For whom my love grows every day. I'm reminded everyday of how incredibly lucky I am to have these little firecrackers in my life.

Amelia, who is truly the most...joyful person in my life. She makes me smile every day, no matter how much of a toddler she's being. She is so polite and thoughtful, that it just boggles my mind. I was always worried about how she was going to learn how to be a kid. What if I didn't teach her properly and she's a bully, or can't speak, or just is a terrible kid. But I guess I'm doing something right because she amazes me every single day with how smart and imaginative she is. She reminds me how important it is to laugh and smile. And I absolutely love her more every day.

Emily, though only 3 months old, lights up the room wherever she is. She is so happy, and so cute and chubby, and so amazing, that I just can't stand it. I cannot express fully enough how much joy she brings me. And to think how terrified I was the day she was born. Terrified my husband wasn't there. Terrified that I had a toddler who really didn't yet understand anything about being a big sister. Terrifed that I couldn't handle two kids "alone".

But I wasn't truly alone. Not only did I have the rest of my family, which truly has been a blessing, Michael was still with me in heart and mind. Which brings me to something else I've been meaning to do.

Thank you family. Thank you mom and dad for letting me and my (awesome) kids live with you for the last 7 months. Thank you for putting up with your house being  constant reminder a toddler lives here. And thank you for being here for me.  I could not have done this deployment without you.

Thank you to my sister Jennilee. She has been just as much help, peace of mind, my rock, anything you can think. Thank you for helping with Amelia when I was about to pull my hair out when I was super pregnant. Thank you for being here for me when I needed advice and love and comfort, and just someone to complain to.

I'm grateful for my other siblings as well, Nicole, Kevin and Caitlin. I haven't spent as much time with you as I should, but I'm so glad now that we're all "grown up", that we have the relationships we do. I hope that while we move apart we continue to grow closer together.

Gah! I'm sorry this turned out to be so long, but I was feeling a little ungrateful today. Then when I walked in the door after not seeing Amelia for a good 8 hrs, she said "Mommy! I miss you!" And she warmed my heart and filled my soul with delight. So I decided to share my happiness with the world!

Our family is soon to be reunited. And I couldn't be more thrilled.

Because my life, is breathtaking, and I love every minute of it.